Christmas Tree Stories
Here is Will and Guy's collection of short stories about Christmas trees.
The Christmas Tree: A Happy Tale for Christmastide for Young Children
One Christmas Eve the trees in a wood were very unhappy. They wished very much to keep Christmas, but they did not know how to do so.
'We look so brown,' complained one.
'If we only had our pretty green summer dresses,' contributed a third, 'then we should be decorated and could keep Christmas.'
'Hush, children, hush,' whispered North Wind in quite a gentle voice for such a rough fellow. 'Make haste and go to sleep.'
'Hush, children, hush,' softly murmured a sleepy little bird. He was roosting on one of the branches of the unhappy trees.
So the trees dropped off to sleep, one by one, while a little star twinkled peacefully overhead.
While they slept something happened. When the trees awoke they found that someone, perhaps North Wind, had, during the night, cast over each of them a lovely soft cloak of spotless feathery white.
'How beautiful we are,' said the trees. 'Now we can keep our Christmas.'
Will and Guy's Funny Christmas Tree Stories
The above story has been researched on the internet. It does not appear to be restricted by copyright so we are delighted to be able to share them with you. Will has adapted and rewritten the tales. We hope you enjoyed reading it.
If you happen to be the writer of the story then please let us know so that we can give you credit for your story, or remove it if you would prefer.
November 2010, Liverpool, England: The Merseyside Food Inspection Agency (MFIA) has issued a warning about artificial Christmas tree made in Korea. The problem concerns the Ringo beatle which infests tree bark and may escape and attack people's skin and lay eggs in their hair.
A MFIA spokesperson said, 'The trees should have been treated with Rollingus stone which makes the Ringo beatle listless and curl up. However, this batch of artificial trees are untreated, consequently, this beetle can cause hysteria in teenagers and flashbacks in older people. Strangely, the illness affects females more seriously than males'.
The affected model is the 'Sergeant Pepper' and the batch number is FAB4. In December MFIA issued a recall notice for these artificial Christmas trees. Anyone who bought a 'Sergeant Pepper' tree in November should return it to the shop from where they purchased it and ask for a refund. To help with Beatle identification, the MFIA has released the following funny Christmas tree picture:
Above is an identification guide to help with the recall of artificial Christmas trees.
Funny Christmas Tree Story - Branches Go Through the Roof
A father has filled his house with a giant 35ft Christmas tree cut from the New Forest in Southern England after his son was disappointed with last year's decorations.
At first glance it looks as if the massive tree has burst straight through the roof of the six-bedroom house in Carbery Avenue. Greg Howe has painstakingly cut the £250 [$375 USD] tree into three sections with the huge trunk in the living room, the middle section in a spare bedroom and the top perched on a flat part of the roof. Greg Howe enlisted the help of several friends and the fire brigade to get the star on top of the huge tree at his Bournemouth home. It is thought that in the interests of safety the star is, in fact, a smoke detector.
Will and Guy have learned that this funny looking Yule tree is decorated with some 160 baubles and approximately 2000 led lights and is already proving a winner in the area and with Mr Howe's children.
More Short Christmas Tree Stories
The Worry Tree
The Carpenter I hired to help me restore and old farmhouse had just finished a rough first day on the job. A flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric saw quit, and now his ancient pickup truck refused to start. While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence.
On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands. When opening the door, he underwent an amazing transformation. His tanned face wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.
Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.
'Oh, that's my trouble tree,' he replied. 'I know I can't help having troubles on the job, but one thing for sure, troubles don't belong in the house with my wife and the children. So I just hang them on the tree every night when I come home. Then in the morning I pick them up again.'
'Funny thing is,' he smiled, 'when I come out in the morning to pick 'em up, there ain't nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.'
Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
The "Hugging Tree" is winner of the Australian Tree Stories competition 2010.
Will and Guy include it here as it is an inspirational and warm tale.
Years ago before my mother died she was confined to a wheelchair and was unable to venture into the bush she loved so much. She would always say to us when we went for a picnic or ventured into the bush "Hug a tree for me". This got to be a great family tradition.
After she died we moved to Fern Tree in the foothills of Mt Wellington in Hobart [Tasmania] where we dedicated a special tree to her. This was on the track from our home to O'Grady's Falls.
Over the years, our children, and now our grandchildren as well as visitors, friends and relatives have all been introduced to the "Hugging Tree". Even friends from England and their children have hugged the tree and taken this tradition back with them to England and even Hong Kong!
The Mighty Oak
The oak said to the reed that grew by the river, 'It is no wonder that
you make such a sorrowful moaning, for you are so weak that the little wren
is a burden for you, and the lightest breeze must seem like a storm-wind.
'Do not worry about me,' said the reed, 'I have less reason to fear the wind than you have. I bow myself, but I never break. He who laughs last, laughs best!'
That night there came a fearful hurricane.
When the morning came there stood the slender reed, glittering with dewdrops, and softly swaying in the breeze.
The famous tree swing pictures (also known as tyre swing, tire swing, rope swing) depicting tyre (or tire) and rope swing in various states of dysfunctionality, illustrates the pitfalls of poor product design, or poor customer service, and the dangers of failing to properly listen to what people want - including choosing their Christmas present!
Will and Guy hope that the picture to the right will make you smile and stop you falling into this trap.
The Dogwood Tree
When Christ was on earth, the dogwood grew
Being distressed at the use of the wood
All who see it will think of me,
An Afghan Tale
One hot day, Nasruddin was taking it easy in the shade of a walnut tree. After a time, he started eying speculatively, the huge pumpkins growing on vines and the small walnuts growing on a majestic tree.
'Sometimes I just can't understand the ways of God!' he mused. 'Just fancy letting tinny walnuts grow on so majestic a tree and huge pumpkins on the delicate vines!'
Just then a walnut snapped off and fell smack on Mullah Nasruddin's bald head. He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in supplication, said, 'Oh, my God! Forgive my questioning your ways! You are all-wise. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees!'
The Nicest Present by Joanna and Karl Fuchs
Under the tree the gifts enthrall,
To you, whom we're often thinking of,
Delightful Picture Postcard Christmas Tree in a German Wood
'Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree'. Even in its humblest attire, aglow beside a tiny chapel in Germany's Karwendel mountains, a Christmas tree is a wondrous sight.
From about 1895, Christmas trees lights started replacing real wax candles and coloured glass.
Janet Parker of Chippenham, Wiltshire, England, probably has the world's oldest artificial Christmas tree, it has been in her family since 1886. The miniature tree originally cost 6d (2½p), and is 12in high. (See picture to the right)
Because Mrs Parker can establish its provenance through family letters and photos, representatives of the Guinness Book of World Records, have agreed that it's the world's oldest artificial Christmas tree.
It was her great aunt, Lou Hicks, who gave the tree to Mrs Parker. The present owner said: 'It amazes me to think it's been appearing every Christmas since Victorian times. It's still such a lovely decoration.'
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