Funny Children's Christmas Stories

Christmas Stories For Children Funny Christmas Children's Stories

Here is Will and Guy's collection of clean but funny stories for boys and girls of all ages.  We have chosen tales that you could tell around the fire side at Christmas time.

Funny Christmas Stories for Children

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A Funny Story Of Santa and the Two SistersFunny Santa Story

Daisy and her thirteen-year-old sister, Mia, had been fighting a great deal during the last year. This often can happen when you combine a strong-willed two-year-old, who is sure she is always right, with a young adolescent.

Daisy's parents, trying to take advantage of her newfound interest in Santa Claus, reminded the two-year-old that Santa was watching and he was unhappy when he saw children argue and fight. This had little impact on little Mia who really didn't understand.

'I'll just have to tell Santa about your misbehaviour,' the mother said as she picked up the phone and dialed. Mia's eyes grew big as her mother asked, 'Mrs. Claus?' [it was really Daisy and Mia's aunt as Santa's real line was busy] if she could put Santa on the line.

Mia's mouth dropped even further open her mother described to Santa [Mia's uncle] how the two-year-old was acting. When her mother told Mia that Santa wanted to talk to her, she reluctantly took the phone.

Santa, speaking in a deep voice, explained to Mia how there would be no presents Christmas morning to children who fought with their sisters. He would be watching, and he expected things to be better from now on.

Mia, now even more wide eyed, solemnly nodded to each of Santa's remarks and silently hung the phone up when he was done. After a short while, the sister's mother [trying hard not to laugh at being so clever] asked Mia, 'What did Santa say to you, darling?'

In almost a whisper, Mia, sadly but matter-of-factly stated, 'Mummy, Santa said he won't be bringing any toys to Daisy this year.'

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Funny Face

 

 

 

The funniest face
looked out at me
From a silver ball
On the Christmas Tree.

At first I thought
It was Santa's elf,
But I looked again and
It was just myself.

 

See more children's Christmas poems.

Santa and the Poor Daughters: A Lovely Tale for ChristmastimeSanta and the poor daughters

Baron Derbyshire was a kindly nobleman whose life was extremely hard. His beloved wife had died of an illness leaving the him and his three daughters in utter despair.

After losing all his money in useless and bad inventions the family had to move from their castle in Yorkshire, England, into a peasant's cottage, where the daughters did their own cooking, sewing and cleaning. When it came time for the daughters to marry, Baron Derbyshire became even more depressed as his daughters could not marry without dowries, money and property given to the new husband's family.

One night after the daughters had washed their clothing they hung their stockings over the fireplace to dry. That night Saint Nicholas, knowing the despair of the father, stopped by the nobleman's hovel. Looking in at the window Saint Nicholas saw that the family had already gone to bed. He also noticed the daughters stockings. Saint Nicholas was profoundly moved and he took three small bags of gold from his pouch and threw them one by one down the chimney whereupon they landed in the stockings.

The next morning when the daughters awoke they found their stockings contained enough gold for them to get married. Baron Derbyshire was able to see his three daughters marry, and he lived a long and happy life.

Don't Try This at Home!

Pastor Tony is walking down the street on Christmas eve when he notices a Larry, a small boy, trying to press the doorbell of a house across the street.  See how this funny children's story ends....

The Golden Box: A Beautiful and Inspiring Christmas Fairy-tale for Children

Once upon a time, a man punished his five-year-old daughter for using up the family's only roll of expensive gold wrapping paper before Christmas.  Money was tight, so he became even more upset when on Christmas Eve, he saw that the child had used the expensive gold paper to decorate a large shoebox she had put under the Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the next morning the little girl, filled with excitement, brought the gift box to her father and said, 'This is for you, Daddy.'  As he opened the box, the father was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, now regretting how he had punished her.

But when he opened the shoebox, he found it was empty and again his anger flared. 'Don't you know, young lady,' he said harshly, 'when you give someone a present there's supposed to be something inside the package.'

The little girl looked up at him with sad tears rolling from her eyes and whispered, 'Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into it until it was all full.'

The father was crushed. He fell on his knees and put his arms around his precious little girl. He begged her to forgive him for his unnecessary anger. Christmas Stories

An accident took the life of the child only a short time later.

It is told that the father kept this little gold box by his bed for all the years of his life. Whenever he was discouraged or faced difficult problems, he would open the box, take out an imaginary kiss, and remember the love of this beautiful child who had put it there.  

See more stories for children.

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The Legend of Poinsettia: A Children's Xmas Story from Mexico Funny Christmas Kids Stories

Dr. Joel Poinsett, who was the first ambassador to Mexico, brought the bright red star-shaped flower to the United States. Hence, it was names as Poinsettia. It is also known as "Flame Leaf" or "Flower of the Holy Night".

The legend related to this delightful Christmas flower is Mexican too. However, it must be remembered there are two versions of the story. In one version, the two small children of the story are known as Maria and her little brother Pablo; while in another version, two cousins are mentioned by the names of Pepita and Pedro.

Will and Guy think that whatever their names, this story needs re-telling.

There was once a brother-sister pair who were very poor. They lived in a small village and had barely enough to eat two full meals a day. As Christmas time approached, festivities, parades and parties in the village attracted the children. The gaiety of the season in itself was wonderful. Moreover, a large manger scene was being set up in the village church and all the children were eager to go to Baby Jesus and give him their best present.

Mario and Pablo also wanted to give presents to the Holy Child. While all children were discussing what they thought was best for the baby and what they would buy as the gift for Him, Mario and Pablo knew that they had no money at all to buy any present and had nothing that they could give as a gift to the child.

They were determined to go to church and see the boy child. So, on Christmas Eve, Maria and Pablo set out for the village church a little earlier than the others to attend the service.

Since they had nothing to give to the child, they thought of picking some weeds that were growing along the roadside so as to make a soft bed for Baby Jesus and to decorate his crib. While they were still decorating the crib of the Baby, other children arrived. Now, children can be very cruel when it comes to teasing and making fun of others; Mario and Pablo were almost in tears for shame and helplessness when a miracle occurred.

Suddenly, the weeds burst into bright red petals that looked like stars and were so beautiful that everyone was awestruck with their beauty. Everybody realised and said that a gift of love is dearer to Jesus than the most expensive presents that money could buy.

Ever since that day, Poinsettia flowers have become favourites for Christmas decorations.

See Christmas Traditions Around the World

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Here Are More Stories From Our Christmas Website for Children

Saying a Prayer for His Christmas Meal

Lee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner.  The family members bowed their heads in expectation.  Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers, sister, Grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.

He gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. Then lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited.  After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won't he know that I'm lying?"

See more Christmas jokes for kids.

Christmas Tale: Children's Letters to Santa

Carole Slotterback, a psychology professor at the University of Scranton, analysed over 1,000 letters addressed to Santa Claus.  The results were as moving as they were surprising

Some of the letters were scrawled, while others were written in best handwriting, furthermore 'Dear Santa' letters were written in every shade of ink.  Curiously, many gave Santa not only their addresses, but also their phone numbers, and parents' cellphone all to make sure the Main Man knew how to find them at Christmas.

Carole reported that the letters "touched me in so many different ways".  "Some are just absolutely a stitch, and others are some of the saddest things I've ever read," she said.

One kid asked to be an elf. Another made a list that included Pokemon cards, a camera and a microscope. But about every third item, the child wrote: "NO clothes". And then there was the one written in careful cursive on bright pink paper, in which Santa was asked for perhaps the greatest gift of all, a mom.

"Not just for me but my daddy, brother and granny ... my daddy works so hard and then he comes home to cook and clean and it should be easier," the letter read.  The child drew a five-cent 'stamp' on the envelope before dropping it into the mailbox.

Overall, about 5% of letters had "family requests", such as for a sick grandpa to get better, or for Mom and Dad to stop fighting.

She suggested parents ask to see their kids' wish lists, because they might be surprised at what is - and what's not - on it. Requests are often "simpler kinds of things than you might think," Slotterback said.

But she noted a surprising lack of social niceties in the correspondence, unless the child was asking for a pet.  A boy who asked for a golden retriever used "please" 16 times, she said. The next-highest use came from a girl who wanted a horse.

Slotterback cited other research that found people who expect their requests to be fulfilled - like a boss asking an employee to do something - are less likely to say please. Perhaps likewise, she said, kids expect Santa to come through.

Still, she said, "you'd think if you were asking for a lot of presents, you would throw in a 'please' or a 'thank you.'"

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Not a Funny Christmas Children's Story

Grinch Handcuffs Santa's Writing HandFunny Christmas Kids Stories

Zillions of children worldwide will be crestfallen this year because Santa does not reply to their Christmas present letters.  In another case of officialdom getting above itself, of Jobsworths ruling the roost, the US Postal Service have abandoned the time honoured tradition of replying to children's letters to Santa.  What happened in 2008 was a registered sex offender, infiltrated Operation Santa.  Why not weed out the guilty, praise the innocent, and keep the letters coming to the children?  But don't let the evil Grinch handcuff Santa's writing hand.

Background: Santa's reply service began in 1954 in the Alaskan village of North Pole, where volunteers open and respond to stacks of mail addressed to Santa.  All their reply letters come with the famous North Pole postmark.

North Pole mayor Doug Isaacson is outraged that the scheme is affected by a sex offender's actions on the east coast. The postal service began tightening its policies in 2006, and now prohibits its volunteers from accessing children's surnames and addresses.  Instead, it blanks out the last name and address on each letter and replaces them with codes that match computerised addresses known only to the post office.

Funny Christmas Statistics to Make Children Smile

  • There are currently 78 people named S. Claus living in the USA, and one Kriss Kringle.
  • December is the most popular month for nose jobs.
  • The weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby for every kid on earth: 333,333 tons [approx. says Guy].
  • Number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333 ton sleigh: 214,206, plus Rudolph.
  • To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times the speed of sound.
  • At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flames instantaneously thinks Will.
  • The average British child will open 18 presents on Christmas morning, worth £330 [$600USD] according to a survey.
  • Of the presents received, one in 10 will be broken by the New Year, only 40% will make it to March and just a quarter will be intact by next Xmas.
  • In total around 46 million of kids toys, worth £870m will be thrown away worldwide.

Christmas Children's Songs

Funny Christmas Nursery Rhyme Mother Goose - Nursery Rhyme

Christmas is coming,
The goose is getting fat,
Please to put a penny in an old man's hat.
If you haven't got a penny,
A half-penny will do,
If you haven't got a half-penny,
God bless you!

This children's nursery rhyme has a meaning say Will and Guy. It is to remind people to connect their Christmas fayre with the belief that we should give to charity, each according to our means; if we are unable to give then we can give our blessing.

A Child's Christmas Eve Dream

Last night I had a lovely dream about Christmas
Last night I had a lovely dream,
But strange as it could be,
For on the hill beside our house
Stood a great Christmas tree.

It glowed with lighted candles,
High at the top, a star,
And 'round it, dancing in a ring,
Children from lands afar.

There were polite, little English girls,
Swiss boys with funny skis,
Dutch children in queer wooden shoes,
Joined hands with shy Chinese.

Turkish lads is tussled fez,
Tots from France and Greece and Poland,
Laughing as the children do
In the safety of a free land.

Perhaps my dream's a prophecy
Of Christmases to be,
When little children everywhere
Can sing because they're free.

I surely wish with all my heart,
This day of Jesus' birth,
That peace and love and happiness
Soon cover all the earth.

Author Unknown

A Parents Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house
I searched for the tools to hand to my spouse.
Instructions were studied and we were inspired,
In hopes we could manage "Some Assembly Required."

The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
While Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
A kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot!
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

We opened the boxes, my heart skipped a beat....
Let no parts be missing or parts incomplete!
Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
If we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!

When what to my worrying eyes should appear,
But 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear,
With each part numbered and every slot named,
So if we failed, only we could be blamed.

More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
All over the carpet they were scattered about.
"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."

And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
That all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
To keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
With "assembly required" till morning's first light.

We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
Till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
Before we attached the last rod and last pin.

Then laying the tools away in the chest,
We fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.

Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
And not have to run to the store for a thing!
We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
For the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"

Then off to dreamland and sweet repose I gratefully went,
Though I suppose there's something to say for those self-deluded...
I'd forgotten that BATTERIES are never included!

- Anonymous

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