Christmas Jokes for Kids
Here is Will and Guy's collection of the Christmas jokes especially selected to appeal to children.
Funny how these riddles also make adults smile!
Q. How do Snowman travel around?
Q. Where do Snow-women like to dance?
Q. Why do reindeer scratch themselves?
Q. Why was Santa's
little helper depressed?
Q: What's red and white and black all over?
Q. Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Q. Mum, can I please have a cat for Christmas:
Child Says a Prayer for the Christmas Meal
Lee, A seven-year-old boy, was asked to say thanks for the Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. Lee began his prayer, thanking God for his Mommy, Daddy, brothers, sister, Grandma, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food.
He gave thanks for the turkey, the stuffing, the Christmas pudding, even the cranberry sauce. Then Lee paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, 'If I thank God for the Brussels sprouts, won't he know that I'm lying?'
Another Batch of Really Funny Christmas Jokes For Kids
What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?
Why doesn't Santa suffer from claustrophobia when climbs down the
What did Cinderella say when the chemist lost her photographs?
What do you get from a pampered cow?
What do lions sing at Christmas?
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Snippet for the Adults!
Oh, quit your W(h)ining, they are just pressing their luck. Grape times are yet to be harvested, so they say on the grapevine.
Will and Guy Suspect British Law is Crackers. The 1875 Explosives Act, currently in force in the UK, apparently considers Christmas crackers to be covered by this archaic law. This means that an 'explosive' cracker cannot be sold to minors.
This law was shown up to be so stupid when 22 year old student, Heather Walsh, attempted to buy a box of 10, for Christmas Day in her local Marks and Spencer's in York, England. Asked if she was over 16 years old Miss Walsh, who has an University degree was told the 'crackers were classed as explosives', Will and Guy have learned. She was told by staff that they were 'protecting me by not selling me them and they suggested that if I was left alone with the crackers I couldn't be trusted and might blow myself up.'
You couldn't make it up, and we think that this law is definitely CRACKERS.
Darren remembers accompanying his father out shopping in the toy department of Hamleys one Christmas Eve.
Dad said, 'What a marvellous train set. I'll buy it.'
The girl behind the counter looked pleased and murmured, 'Great, I'm sure your son will really love it.'
Dad replied with a glint in his eye, 'Maybe you're right. In that case I'll take two.'
Alex was five; all his Christmas presents were always signed, 'from Father Christmas.'
A little while after Alex had opened all his presents on Christmas morning, we became aware that he was looking quite down in the mouth for no obvious reason.
'What's the matter, Al?' I asked.
'Ummmm', replied Alex slowly, 'I really hoped that you and Mummy would give me something for Christmas'.
Santa Claus Conundrum
The 3 stages of man:
1) He believes in Santa Claus.
Here Are More Jokes From Our Christmas Website for Children
Daniel aged 4, returned from Sunday school with a new perspective on the Christmas story.
He had learned all about the wise men from the east who brought gifts to the baby Jesus.
Daniel was so excited he just had to tell his parents, 'I learned in Sunday School today all about the very first Christmas. There wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three blokes on camels had to deliver all the toys. And Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big light in the sky to find their way around'.
Funny Xmas Riddles For Children. Classic Conundrums Each and Every One
What Will and Guy find is that we cringe at 12 out of these 15 Christmas kids jokes - but smile at the other 3.
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