'I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a
note on it saying, toys not included.' Bernard
'I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took
me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.'
'Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he
wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to
cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy
isn't laundering illegal drug money?' TomArmstrong
'Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a
beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that
he's smoking?' ArloGuthrie
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the
work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.
Who's the bane of Santa's life? The elf and safety officer.
Here are some famous Christmas quotes from the movies. As
usual, we have a mixture of happy and sad quotes.
Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas? You know... the
birth of Santa. Bart Simpson
Snowman: Did you hear about the church that
burned down? Statler, Waldorf: Holy smoke! Muppets
Doris: Would you please tell her that you're
not really Santa Claus, that there actually is no such person? Kris Kringle: Well, I hate to disagree with you,
but not only is there such a person, but here I am to prove it. 'Miracle on 34th Street' (A quote from one of the best Christmas movies)
Look, Daddy. Teacher says every time a bell rings, an angel gets
his wings. It's A Wonderful Life
Charlie, stay away from those things. They're reindeer, you
don't know where they've been. They all look like they've got key
lime disease. The Santa Clause
Rats. Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there
weren't a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to
have a holiday season to emphasize it? Charlie Brown Christmas
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.