Funny Angel Jokes for Christmas

Funny Angel Jokes for Christmas Funny Angel for Christmas

Here is our collection of funny angel jokes, cherub pictures and archangel stories.

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Funny Angels for Christmas

Funny Angels for Christmas

We like particularly like the 'cherub' above to the right!

Clean But Amusing Angel Jokes

  • Mindy aged 8.  'I only know the names of one angel, he's called Herald.'  Mommy sings to me the Christmas Carol:
    Hark! The Herald angel sings.
  • Peter aged 7.  'Angels don't eat much, but they drink a lot of milk from Holy Cows.'
  • Veronica aged 8. 'I don't understand about angels; why when a girl fancies a boy, they get an angel to shoot arrows at him.
  • Bert aged 25.  'My wife's an angel'.
    Don aged 57.  'You're lucky, mine is still alive'.

Another Good Angel JokeFunny angel jokes

Just before Christmas God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on.  He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.  So he called one of His best angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.  When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good.

Well, he thought for a moment and said, maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another point of view.  So God called another angel and sent her to Earth for a time too. When the angel returned she went to God and told him yes, the Earth was in decline, 95% was bad and 5% was good.

God said this was not good. So He decided to email the 5% that were good and He wanted to encourage them, give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what that email said?
Ah, so you didn't get one either?

Baseball Angels
Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? 

In the big innings, Eve stole first, Adam stole second.  Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son walked home.  The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Footnote:
Please send us your funny angel jokes.Angel Jobs

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What Does The Christmas Angel Look Like?

  • Angels come in all shapes and sizes; all ages and skin types.
  • For example, the little old lady who returned your purse last week.
  • They come disguised as enemies, teachers, students, even fools.
  • Like the taxi driver who told you that your eyes light up the world, when you smile.
  • They don't take life too seriously, they travel light.
  • Remember the small child who showed you the wonder in simple things.
  • An angel leaves no forwarding address, they ask nothing in return.Angel Jokes
  • Like the poor man who offered to share his lunch with you.
  • Like the rich man who showed you that it really is all possible, if only you believe.
  • Remember the stranger who just happened to come along, when you had lost your way.
  • Think back to the friend who touched your heart, when you didn't think you had one.
  • Some cherubs have freckles, some have dimples, think of some with wrinkles, some without.
  • They are hard to find when your eyes are closed, but when you choose to see, angels are everywhere you look.
  • So, open your eyes and count all your Angels; for you are truly blessed.

The reason that angels can fly is because they take themselves lightly.
G.K. Chesterton.

You'll meet more angels on a winding path than on a straight one.
Daisey Verlaef.

Angels on the Christmas Tree

The fairy at the top of the Christmas tree was originally a little figure of the baby Jesus.  In late seventeenth century Germany this became a shining angel. In Victorian Britain, little girls would take the angel down after Christmas and dress him in dolls' clothes. Eventually the angel turned into a thoroughly female fairy, complete with wand. The transformation was boosted by the pantomimes that became popular in the Victorian era - and, naturally, included a good fairy in the cast. Angel Jokes

Cherubs hung on trees, represent the angels who heralded the birth of Christ. This particular example (right) was found in Canterbury Cathedral, Kent, England.

The star, which forms one of the most important ornaments of the Christmas tree, indicates the guiding star which led the shepherds and the magi to the new born Jesus Christ in the stable in Bethlehem.

Stars have knocked angels off the top of the nation's Christmas trees. Will and Guy have heard that demand has fallen so much that some street retailers have dropped angel tree toppers from shops this year. A decade ago angels were still outselling star tree toppers but now stars outsell angels more than 10-fold.Making Angels at Christmas - Snow Women

Make Your Own Christmas Angel

Just as every child should have a pet, so every child should make a Christmas angel.

Guy's favourite way of making his fun angel was to use a ping-pong ball for the head, but you can also use an egg.  I don't know why I did not think of starting with an old light bulb.  As for the body, you are spoilt for choice with cardboard, polystyrene, Styrofoam or old rolls.

For the wings, you could use ribbon, lace or other suitable fabric.  Then you can have fun painting your Xmas angel.  Use rough painting for the body, but use careful brushstrokes when painting the face.

Another idea I picked up from my nephew was to fix a candle in the angel's head.  However, such funny angels would be better suited to the safety of a table than the potential disaster of catching the tree on fire.  See more on making Christmas Angels

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Children's Funny Ideas About AngelsChildren's Funny Ideas

Item sent to Will and Guy by Kelvin Bowler a Primary Schoolteacher and old teaching friend.

  • When it gets cold, angels go north for the winter. Sara,6
  • Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else. Mitchell, 7
  • Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the kid get over it. Vicki, 8
  • I hear funny angels all the time in my dreams. And I'm sticking with that no matter how many people tell me I'm crazy. Molly, 8
  • My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science. Henry, 8
  • Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter. Jared , 8
  • All angels are girls because they've got to wear dresses and boys don't go for it. Antonia, 9
  • Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why but scientists are working on it. Olive, 9
  • Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The basic message is where you went wrong before you got dead. Daniel, 9 Funny Maths Howlers
  • It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes. Matthew, 9
  • My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth. Katelyn, 9
  • When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado.

An Angel Comes Down to Earth

An eye witness account from New York City, on a cold day in December, some years ago. A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering With cold.  A lady approached the young boy and said, 'My, but you're in such deep thought staring in that window!'

'I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,'was the boy's reply.

The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy.  She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.

She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.

By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks ... Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes.

She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him.  She patted him on the head and said, 'No doubt, you will be more comfortable now.'

As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her. Children's Funny Ideas

'Are you God's wife?'

Footnote:
Angel story kindly sent in by Beryl Wilson

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Angels Remind Us.....

Angels might be here to remind us of our spiritual dimension.

  • Angels also might be here to remind us:
  • To seek the best in ourselves at all times no matter who is watching or not watching. Integrity is a virtue they wish to remind us to practice at all times
  • They act as role models to help and give to others. They constantly are reminders to help and give without expectation of anything in return
  • Angels remind us to 'lighten up' in our lives and have a little fun. They know that families who laugh together stay together. Laughter is healing and those Christmas angels love to see the lighter side of life
  • So no matter whether you believe or not believe in Angels, they certainly add to the magic, fun and joy associated with the celebrations and festivities of Christmas

Many carols sung at Christmastide tell of angels. Here is where you can hear one of our favourite carols

Will and Guy's Favourite Five Angel Quotes Angel Quotes

  • Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some have unknowingly entertained angels.  Hebrews
  • We are like children, who stand in need of masters to enlighten us and direct us; and God has provided for this, by appointing his angels to be our teachers and guides.  Saint Thomas Aquinas
  • We shall find peace. We shall hear angels, we shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds.  Chekov
  • These things I warmly wish for you: Someone to love, some work to do, A bit o' sun, a bit o' cheer, And a guardian angel always near.  Irish Blessing
  • True friends are like angels. They are precious and rare, and false friends are like leaves, found everywhere.

See our funny Christmas quotes.

Ode To the Christmas Tree Angel

The time had come around again it was time to get our tree
In the car we piled us boys, my sister on mum's knee
Out into the country, dad drove for miles and miles
When at last he found the place, we could not contain our smiles.

Dad headed to the tall pine trees, his sharpest axe in hand
Dutiful behind him trailed his merry little band
At last he spied the one he sought, a sapling straight and tall
"This will please your mum" he said, indeed it pleased us all.

With swift clean strokes he had in no time cut it down
We placed the tree atop the car and headed back to town
The decorating of the tree this year would be supervised by Mum
The final piece, "The Angel" would be placed by the youngest one.

This year my baby brother would be helped by sis and me
But as we lifted baby up we tripped and fell into the tree
Tangled in the trimmings we rode the tree as down it came
Mid tears and cries right through the lounge room window pane.

I carried on tradition with my children every year
But when it came to "Angel" time up came a nagging fear
Of breaking glass and angels wings and the message that it sent
To place my tree in a great big pot in reinforced cement!

See more funny Christmas carols.

Twelve Thought Provoking Angel Sayings

It is not known precisely where angels dwell; whether in the air, the void, or the planets. It has not been God's pleasure that we should be informed of their abode. Voltaire

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  1. I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit. Mae West
  2. A man does not have to be an angel in order to be a saint. Albert Schweitzer
  3. Angels fly because they take themselves lightly. G. K. Chesterton
  4. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some have unwittingly entertained angels. The Bible
  5. In Heaven an angel is nobody in particular. George Bernard Shaw
  6. It is not because angels are holier than men or devils that makes them angels, but because they do not expect holiness from one another, but from God only. William Blake
  7. It's easy to be an angel when you are in heaven. Anonymous
  8. We are each of us angels with only one wing, to fly we need only embrace each other. Anonymous
  9. The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone. George Elliot
  10. Philosophy will clip an angel's wings. John Keats
  11. All God's angels come to us disguised. James Russell Lowell
  12. Music is well said to be the speech of angels. Thomas Carlyle

I Feel a Tug

Funny Angels for Christmas

Angels at Christmas

Few figures in the Bible are as delightful as the Christmas Angels.  The heavenly angels are described as messengers of god.  The word angel is Greek and Hebrew in origin and means messenger, or one who is sent as with the angel Gabriel in the Christian Christmas Story.

Angels or seraphs are supposed to be immortal spirits.  Angels are said to live in Heaven and are thought to be intermediaries of God and our link to the mystical kingdom of heaven.

Archangel GabrielAngel Gabriel

The Angel Gabriel is an animated characters in a film to teach the Christmas story to primary schools children in the UK.  One key point is to convince many of the youngsters that Jesus is not a swear word.

In the Bible, it is the Angel Gabriel who reveals that Mary would conceive the child Jesus; an event which is known as 'The Annunciation'

Belief in Angels is Common to Christianity, Judaism and Islam

The concept of angelic beings is very similar in all three faiths: angels are spiritual beings who were created by God before the world was created. Their role is to glorify God, minister to God, and, especially, act as God's messengers to humans in matters of great importance [such as the announcement to Mary in Christianity and the revelation of the Qur'an in Islam]. They are also helpers and guardians of the faithful.

Angels and Islam
The Angel Gabriel [Jibreel] brought Allah's [God's] words to the Prophet Muhammad and therefore Islam calls Gabriel the 'Messenger Angel.' There are many other angels and they can read about in the Quran. Angels cannot be seen because they are made of things which human eyes cannot see. However ,all the same, believers know that they are near, because Allah has told them.

Angels and Judaism
In Judaism an angel is a spiritual entity in the service of God. Angels have played a prominent role in Jewish thought throughout the centuries, though the exact meaning of the word has been subject to widely, at times wildly, different interpretations. Biblical angels fulfill a variety of functions, including conveying information to mortals, shielding, rescuing, and caring for Israelites, and smiting enemies.

Angels and Hinduism
While not specifically referred to as angels, Hinduism does have many different types of spirit beings who act in a similar capacity. One example is the minor gods, or devas, literally "shining ones," who inhabit the higher astral plane. They can all play a protective role for humans.

Angels and Buddhism
The Buddhist equivalent of angels is devas*, or celestial beings. Some see them as protectors and enlightened beings.

Angels in Mormonism
Angels are described in the Doctrine and Covenant of the Mormons as being one of the two kinds of bodies in heaven. They are described as "resurrected personages." They are considered by Mormons to be messengers of God and "ministering spirits."

Angels and Sikhism
Sikhism is a practical religion. Sikhism is a way of life, something to be lived according to a pattern. Its main virtue is simplicity. There is no supernaturalism or mythology on which it rests. It does not believe in devils or angels or heavenly spirits.

*Devas are deities or Gods

Guardian Angels

'From infancy to death human life is surrounded by their angels watchful care and intercession.  Beside each believer stands an angel as protector and shepherd leading him to life.'

Earth's Angel Poem

God's Angels are depicted,
All wearing pretty wings....
Along with a golden harp,
Sweet music that they sing.

Don't overlook Earth's Angels,
We see them everywhere....
In the daily deeds they do,
Because they truly care.

See more on Angels for Christmas

Funny Angels for the Points of the Compass

Will and Guy have created a collection of interesting examples of angels corresponding to the points of the compass.  Most of these funny angels are taken from England.  Although we acknowledge that other countries also have contenders for Angels of the North, South, East and West.

Angel of the West

...(videoG2)

Angel of the North

This is an incredible photo: can you see the Christmas Angel trumpeting in the clouds?  Please let Will and Guy know if you are the photographer so that we can give you credit for your glorious picture.

Angel of the North

Angel of the NorthAngel of the North

The Angel of the North has become the symbol of the North of England in general, and Gateshead in particular.  It was completed in 1998.  My guess is that at first more disliked it than approved.  However, gradually the figure have been reversed, so no most people like the Angel of the North.  Perhaps this is always the way with a new statue.

Little Angels

In 2008 50 children who were all born on the day the Angel of the North arrived on it's hill, were invited for a photo-shoot.

See more on the Angel of the North

Angel of the SouthAngel of the South

Another amusing, or fun angel is the Angel of the South, which is to be built in Ebbsfleet, Kent, England in 2010.  

At the moment the Angel of the South is at the design stage.  The idea is a giant monument, to do for the South East of what Antony Gormley's Angel of the North has done for the Gateshead region.

Guy's favourite design is the giant white horse.  However there is competition from the tower of polyhedra, nicknamed: 'The wilting pylon.' Another strong contender is the angelic wing and shield, also know as the 'Satellite Dish'.

Angel of the East

There are several contenders for 'Angel of the East'.  However, Will and Guy nominate the Iron Angel, Blythburgh, Suffolk, England.  It has all the right attributes, it's in the East of England, and it's definitely an angel.

Angel of the East

Another Contender for Angel of the East
Mike Valeri's Cloud Photograph

Mike Valeri's Angel Cloud Picture

And Finally - The Angel FallsAngel Falls

The Angel Falls is the highest waterfall in the world, at 1,002 m, and is located in the Canaima National Park in Bolivar State, along Venezuela's border with Brazil. I t is more than 19 times higher than Niagara Falls. The uninterrupted descent of water falls 807 m. 

How it came to be named surprised Will and Guy.  Actually the Angel Falls is named after Jimmy Angel, an American bush pilot and gold-hunting adventurer, who discovered it in 1937.

Mike Valeri's Angel Cloud Picture

  

Footnote:
Please send us a picture of your funny angels.

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See more funny Short Christmas stories:

Short Christmas stories   ∗ Funny Xmas stories   ∗ Christmas kids stories   ∗ Christmas news stories

Religious Christmas story   ∗ Christmas children's stories   ∗ Christmas tree stories   ∗ Xmas Stories

Naming Jesus   ∗ Modern Christmas Story   ∗ Funny religious jokes   ∗ Christmas angel stories