In 2007 February 18th was the first day of the Chinese New Year. The Chinese have been
calculating the New Year for a long time (over 4,600 years), thus it is understandable that their ancestors used the
new moon to fix the date of each new year.
2007 is the year of the pig,
or to be precise, fire and pig. This Chinese New Year is also know as Ding Hai.
2007 is considered particularly auspicious as, according to the Chinese zodiac, it is a 'golden pig' year that falls once every 60 years.
Unlike other calendars, the Chinese calendar has names
that are repeated every 60 years. In the Chinese 'Stem-Branch' calendar this is the 8th
year of the 60 year cycle. Within the 'Stem-Branch' system is shorter cycle of 12 years denoted by these animals:
Rat Ox Tiger Hare Dragon Snake Horse Sheep Monkey Rooster Dog
Pig 2008 200920102011 2012 2013 2014 2015 (2004) (2005) (2006) 2007
It was Chinese New Year. Bill and Jackson had just staggered back home
from a hard night's drinking when they noticed that a menu from the new
restaurant next door had come through the letter box. On a whim they decided to celebrate the Chinese New Year with a take-away.
Jackson, was just off out of the door to fetch their meal when Bill turned to
him and said, 'Please get me 20 number 6 while you're at the take-away.
Jackson returned with their chicken Chou Mein, sweet and sour pork and 20 portions of egg
fried rice. Bill said, 'Where's me fags'. Jackson said, 'What cigarettes,
you asked for 20 number 6 and that's what you've got, enough egg fried rice to
feed a Chinese Junk from Shanghai to Hong Kong'.
Bill said, 'When I was last in England Embassy No 6 was a packet of fags.'
It's a Dog's Life
Meanwhile, Bill and Jackson's wives decided to dine out a new Chinese
Restaurant. Jackson's wife Julie was inseparable from her Pekingese dog
called 'Pepe'. So they took Pepe along with them to the restaurant.
Whenever they went to their usual restaurant the manager's wife looked after
Pepe while they ate, and they thought it would be no different this new
Julie and her friend Rachel, gave Pepe to the owner and went to their seats.
They ordered their meal, had a few drinks and eventually their meal arrived.
They were mortified when it turned out to be their beloved Pepe surrounded by
As the owner explained the next day to Bill and Jackson, they thought that
Julie and Rachel wanted the chef to cook the dog, not look after it while the
How did an embarrassed panda get mistaken for a newspaper? They are
both black and white, and red all over!
What's purple, 10,000 km long and 12m high? The grape wall of China.
Traditional Chinese Sense of Humour
Prime Minister Chang was happy enough to write, but he didn't put in a lot of
care into his brush strokes. Everybody sneered at his bad handwriting, and the
Prime Minister himself really didn't care.
One day Chang thought of a beautiful sentence and at once wielded his writing
brush to write it down, indeed, there were dragons flying and snakes dancing all
over the paper. Then he ordered his secretary to write it out neatly.
When beginning to copy, his secretary stared tongue-tied and did not know
where to start. The young man had to take the manuscript back to the Prime
'Prime Minister Chang, I can't read your handwriting, please tell me what
words they are.'
The Prime Minister read his cursive hand a long time, and did not know what
Chinese characters they were, either. He then turned to blame his secretary.
'Why didn't you come earlier to ask me? I myself have forgotten the words which