Christmas Bon-Bon Jokes
Christmas cracker jokes are called 'Bon-Bons' in countries such as Australia and South Africa. Will and Guy are unsure if Christmas cracker riddles are also called bon-bons in Ireland. Most of these one-liners make us groan rather than laugh out loud.
Funny Christmas Riddles and Puns
Q: What's red and white and black all over?
Q. Why was Cinderella no good at football?
Q. Why do reindeer scratch themselves?
Q. Why was Santa's
little helper depressed?
Q. How do Snowman travel around?
Q. Where do Snow-women like to dance?
Q. Why did the man get the sack from the orange juice factory?
Q: What would you call the ghost of a campanologist?
Q: What is Tiger Woods' wife getting for Christmas?
Q. What happened when Guy ate the Christmas decorations?
Thanks to the Guardian Newspaper
Christmas Cracker Variations
As for the crackers themselves, they are also a part of New Year celebrations in Russia; where they are called "хлопушка". It's no surprise that in these former Soviet Union countries the crackers are more like pyrotechnical devices, than the humble British Christmas cracker.
Crackers, as in Christmas crackers were invented in Londong by Thomas J. Smith. He ingeniously created the crackers as a development of his bon-bon sweets, which he sold in a twist of paper.
When Smith noticed his sales of bon-bons fall he racked his brains for a new ideas. His first tactic was to insert mottos into the wrappers of the sweets like fortune cookies, but this did not produce the boost in sales that he hoped for.
Then he was inspired to add the "bang" element when he heard the crackle of a log he had just put on the fire. The size of the paper wrapper had to be increased to incorporate the banger mechanism, and the sweet itself was eventually dropped, to be replaced by a small gift.
The new product was initially marketed as the 'Cosaque' [Cossack], but the onomatopoeic "cracker" soon became the commonly used name, as rival varieties were introduced to the market.
The other elements of the modern cracker, the gifts, paper hats and varied designs, were all introduced by Tom Smith's son, Walter Smith, to differentiate his product from the many copycat cracker manufacturers which had suddenly sprung up.
7 Angel Sayings
Santa Claus Conundrum
The 3 stages of man:
1) He believes in Santa Claus.
Daniel aged 4, returned from Sunday school with a new perspective on the Christmas story.
He had learned all about the wise men from the east who brought gifts to the baby Jesus.
Daniel was so excited he just had to tell his parents, 'I learned in Sunday School today all about the very first Christmas. There wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three blokes on camels had to deliver all the toys. And Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big light in the sky to find their way around'.
Another Batch of Bon-Bons From Christmas Crackers
Why doesn't Santa suffer from claustrophobia when climbs down the
What did Cinderella say when the chemist lost her photographs?
What do you get from a pampered cow?
What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine?
What do lions sing at Christmas?
What does it mean when the flag is at half-mast at the post office?
What did Adam say to his girlfriend on December 24th?
What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Mike walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.
Bert aged 25. 'My wife's an angel'.
A Tale From Aussie
As you may know bon-bon jokes are popular in Australia, so this is why we have added this yarn.
The Amazing and Funny Australian Love Test
Do you ever wonder who loves you? Your wife? Your dog? You think they love you, but how do you know if they really do? How can you be sure? There is a way to find out and have peace of mind and it only takes one hour.
Simply open the boot of your car, put your dog and your wife in there, close the boot, grab a couple of beers and watch the footy on the telly for an hour or so. Then go back to the car, and open the boot.
Now, who is happy to see you?
New Section of Funny Christmas Riddles. Classic Conundrums Each and Every One
What Will and Guy find is that we cringe at 12 out of these 15 Christmas Riddles - but smile at the other three bon-bons.
If you like this page then please share it with your friends
See more clean Christmas jokes, yarns and funny gags: