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Will and Guy's Funy Humor

Will and Guy's Jokes, Short Stories and Funy Pictures

This is list of common words that are commonly misspelt. We dedicate to those whose fingers don't obey what their owner tells them, or those like Guy who are just plain bad speilers.

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Will and Guy's Humor

Beware of Your Doctor Uttering These Phrases During Surgery

  1. Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
  2. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
  3. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
  4. Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
  5. ...and could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off
  6. Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
  7. Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint.  However, luckily for you, I happen to be a quack.
  8. FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

Schoolboy Howlers - A Rich Source of JokesFuny humor

Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines

Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.

Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

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Funny Signs and Notices

SIGN IN A LAUNDROMAT:

Automatic washing machines: please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.

IN AN OFFICE:

After tea break staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board

Whacked

A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Until that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Tales from Travel Agents

Fastest Jet in America
An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33am. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

Another good source of humour is the newspaper small ads.

  • We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

  • Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

Joke of the Month

Our latest project is to add jokes for each month.  This is one way of constantly updating our site with fresh, funny yet clean jokes and pictures.  Months joke section.

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How this Free Jokes Site Evolved

Will does most of the research in unearthing the humour featured on this site.  What pleases Will and I most, is that more and more people are beginning to contribute with jokes and funny stories.  We hope that you will keep returning to the site as the material is growing rapidly. Our mission is to provide a wealth, of clean yet funny jokes.  We are also committed to keeping this a site for free jokes.

It gives Will and I particular pleasure to thank Hannah, Sally and Jenny for their jokes, stories and funny pictures.  Other individual contributions are acknowledged on the appropriate page.

Suitability of Jokes

Before I go any further, I would like to say a word about the suitability of these jokes for viewing.  In my opinion, there is nothing in the content that is unsuitable viewing.  My only concern about the content is, will you get the joke, not about the nature of the material.  Our goal is to record and relay humour without descending into the crude or the gratuitous insult.  I will let you into a secret, before publishing a page I apply the litmus test: 'Would my Aunt approve of this joke?'

Lastly, I would like to say again that Will has been the inspiration and has done all the hard work finding the funny jokes, I just load the pages up to the website.   As the site is about English humour, I have decided to use the English spelling, rather than the American humor.  That said, I hope that much of the humor or humour works in any culture.  Naturally, sometimes we have changed the names of people to protect the guilty.

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