Funny Thoughts of the Day

Funny Thought of the DayWill and Guy's Funny Thoughts of the Day

Here is source of inspiration for when you want a funny thought of the day.

 Sponsored Links

Funny Thoughts for the Day

  • Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad. Norm Papernick
  • Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'Broker'?
  • Why isn't there a mouse flavoured cat food?
  • Why do they call the airport 'the terminal' if flying is so safe?
  • I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet. - Ancient Persian Saying
  • If people from Poland are called 'Poles', why aren't people from Holland called 'Holes?'
  • You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.
  • Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?
  • Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
  • Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
  • If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
  • Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
  • Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone Ella Wheeler Wilcox Funny Thought of the Day
  • Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
  • Sanity may be madness but the maddest of all is to see life as it is and not as it should be. - Don Quixote

Droll Witty Thoughts to Conjure

  • By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day. - Robert Frost
  • If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.
  • Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. Ogden Nash
  • Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. - George Eliot
  • Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go. - Oscar Wilde
  • When you are arguing with a fool, make sure he isn't doing the same thing. - Unknown

Curious and Whimsical Thoughts

These thoughts of the day are not hilariously funny, but they induced a wry smile on either Will or Guy's face.

  • Men who seek happiness are like drunkards who can never find their house but are sure that they have one. - Voltaire
  • The brain is a wonderful organ.  It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. - Robert Frost
  • At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since. - Salvador Dali
  • How can anyone govern a nation that has two hundred and forty-six different kinds of cheese? - Charles De Gaulle
  • One camel does not make fun of another camel's hump. Ghanaian Proverb
  • It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in front of you in the supermarket express lane. - June Henderson
  • Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep. - Carl Sandburg

A Collection of Capricious Thoughts About Marriage

It's an agreement wherein
a man loses his bachelors degree
and a woman gains her masters

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is
defeated by feminine water-power!

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel
a feeling you have never felt before.

The only time when some married men
ever get to open their mouth.

A banker provided by nature.

The name men give to their

A book which people praise,
but never read.

A curve that can set
a lot of things straight!


The Funny World of the Office

A place where you can relax
after your strenuous home life.

The confusion of one man multiplied by the
number present.

A place where everybody talks,
nobody listens and everybody disagrees later.

An art of transmitting Information
from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students
without passing through the minds of either

Someone who is early when you are late
and late when you are early.

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper
with fire at one end and a fool at the other!   See more on (anti-)smoking

Assorted Drole Thoughts

A person who tells you to go to hell
in such a way that you actually look forward
to the trip.

One who shakes your hand before elections
and your confidence later.

A person who lives poor so that
he can die RICH!


Loving Thoughts of the Day

  • Beauty is truth, and truth is beauty - John Keats
  • A thing of beauty is a joy forever: its loveliness increases; it will never pass into nothingness. - John Keats
  • Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. - Henry David Thoreau
  • Never refuse any advance of friendship, for if nine out of ten bring you nothing, one alone may repay you. - Madame de Tencin
  • See more 'Loving Thoughts of the Day'.


Please send us your funny thoughts of the day.

If you like this page then please share it with your friends


See more wise, funny and inspirational thoughts:

Lateness humour   • Inspirational thought of the day   • Funny thoughts to ponder   • Home

Funny wisdom   • Wise words   • Witticisms   • Meaning of words   • Christian thought for the day

Loving thoughts of day   • Funny thoughts of the day   • Motivational thought for the day   • Wisdom