Funny Sardar Jokes
Will and Guy publish our favourite Sardar or Sadar-Ji jokes to entertain. We seek to honour and to publicise Sikh humour, we do not mean to show any disrespect to the Sikh communities throughout the world.
Sardar Studies Holy Holidays
Introduction to Jokes a Sardar Would Tell
Sardar, is a Persian word which tends to be used for military or political leaders because the roots of the word mean commander, perhaps comparable to the English word, chieftain. In Pakistan, for example, the leaders of certain tribes have the title Sardar. [Balochi, Kashmiri, Pashtun, Punjabi, Seraiki, Sindhi].
However, in India the word often refers to a male follower of the Sikh faith; sometimes the word - Ji, is added and this denotes respect. Sometimes, in India, the Punjabi and Hindi: Sardar, is used derogatorily and he is considered as an "idiot" and the butt of many jokes perhaps rather in the same way as "blondes".
As can be seen elsewhere on our site Will and Guy deplore any form of racism, but we do understand the place of stereotypes in society. On this occasion we feel the same about Sardar humour. We see it rather like the attitude of say the Americans towards the Canadians; the English towards the Irish or the Scots. The Welsh towards the English. Elsewhere we find that "Poms" [British people] are the butt of Australian jokes. Belgians fall foul of the French; while The German deprecate the Dutch in their humour.
Funny Jokes a Sardar Tells - Kindly sent in by Charu Murali
Sardar Out Shopping
Gatnam went to the sale at electrical shop and he found a bargain. 'I
would like to buy this small TV,' he told the salesman.
So Gatnam hurried home, removed his turban, and changed his hair style and returned to repeat to the salesman, 'I would like to buy this TV.'
'Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,' the salesman replied for a second
He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,
different clothes, big sunglasses and he waited a few days until he saw the
'Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars,' the salesman replied.
Sardar Exam Student
Sardar Premdeep Singh is sitting his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pants, socks and watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
'Oye, I am only following the instructions,' Premdeep replies, 'it says here, "Answer the following questions in brief."'
Testing for Diabetes
Rasdeep goes into the kitchen and opens the cookie
jar. He looks inside and closes it. His wife observes the whole
episode and says nothing. Again Rasdeep enters the kitchen and does the
Sardar at the Movies
A Sardar said that he saw a movie 100 times. Reason:- There was a scene in the movie wherein a lady on the banks of a river is about to disrobe. Then suddenly a train passes by and the view is obscured. The Sardar saw the movie 100 times expecting the train to come late some day. [Kindly sent in by Vishwanath Sharma]
Having lost his donkey Sardarji Uddam got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby sees him and asks, So, your donkey is missing, what are you thanking God for?'
Uddam replies, 'I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I, too, would have been missing.'
A teacher asked her class for sentences using the word "beans".
Near Death Experience
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta.
As Banta Singh stood beside the bed, Santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on.
Banta Singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died.
Banta Singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Banta Singh was visiting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died.
'You know,' he said, 'Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all.'
He unfolded the note and read aloud, 'Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube.'
Kindly sent in by Nick Mountford.
Cricket is the sport that Indian's are most passionate about as its probably the only sport, in India, where the national team does well from time-to-time. The Indian cricket team is worshipped when it wins, but when it loses it's time to tell jokes.
Will and Guy have selected their team of 11 favourites for you to enjoy. Let it be known that all these jokes, could be used about Australian, English, or even Yorkshire cricket. All you would need to do in our opinion is substitute the names Warne, Flintoff or Boycott as appropriate.
Phone Call for Sehwag
Indian Team Manager: Hello
Indian Team Manager: Sorry, he is just going to bat.
Dear sir, with reference to your above see my below - popular opening line in official letters.
A seven-year-old boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody of the boy to the Indian Cricket Team, whom the boy firmly believes is not capable of beating anyone.
Another Tranche of Clean Funny Sardar Jokes
Will and Guy continue our search for the best jokes Sardar (or should it be Sadar). We do not mean to show any disrespect to the Sikh communities based in India or anywhere else in the world. In fact, we have discovered that many of funniest Sadarji jokes originate not from Anglo Saxons, but from the Sikhs themselves.
Vishwanath Sharma reminds us that Sardars are a very intelligent lot. This is the only community in US which is permitted to sport a beard in the Armed forces and Police force of US.
Top 10 Books on Cricket - Each a Suitable Christmas Present for a Sardar-Ji
A Clean Indian Cricket Story
After the shameful exit of Indian cricket team in the T20 WC Super 8 stage, the Indian team members were not able to show their faces to people openly and they chose rather just to pack up in hotel rooms in Mumbai.
Dhoni could not resist for too long to be in Mumbai and still not be able
to go out shopping and have fun. So he disguises himself as a
Surprised for having been caught he comes back and makes himself up as a Muslim woman - in burkha and goes out. Yet same again, the same woman greets him, 'Hi Dhoni.'
Dhoni comes back determined to give it yet another try with the makeup of a Hippie wig and shorts. All in vain - the same lady catches him again and greets him, 'Hi Dhoni.'
Bewildered by now, he could not help asking, 'How do you keep recognizing me?'
The lady replied, 'I am Yuvraj the Bhangra Machine.'
Funny Santa Banta Jokes
Santa and Banta are often two Sardarji's who are good friends. Most of time each of them tries to outsmart the other and this creates humour. Most of their conversations are funny and are called Santa Banta jokes.
Santa Buys Curtains
Santa enters a shop that sell curtains. He announces to Gurdaya, the salesman, 'I would like to buy a pair of green curtains.'
The salesman assures him that they had a large selection of green curtains. Gurdaya shows him several patterns, but Santa seems to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a smashing green floral print. The salesman asked what size curtains he requires.
Santa replies, 'Fifteen inches.'
'Fifteen inches? ' explodes Gurdaya. 'That sounds a very small amount, what room are they for?'
Santa tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
Gurdaya, an extremely surprised salesman replies, 'But, sir, computers do not have curtains!" '
Santa says, 'Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows.'
Santa Buys A Hearing Aid
Santa, hard of hearing, realises that he needs to buy a hearing aid, but he feels unwilling to spend too much money.
'How much do they cost?' he asks Manbir, the shopkeeper.
'That depends,' says. Manbir, 'They run from £20 to £2,000.'
'Let's see the £20 model,' asks Santa.
Manbir puts the device around Santa's neck instructing, 'You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket.'
'How does it work?' Santa inquires.
'For only £20 it doesn't work," Manbir replies, 'But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!'
Santa Has A Funny Dream
Santa kept having the same strange dream every night, so he made an appointment to see a doctor.
Doctor Ajaib: What was your dream about?
Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!
Doctor Ajaib: [smiling to himself] So... what is the scenery like?
Santa: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor Ajaib: Then what happened?
Santa: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor Ajaib: Does the door have anything written on it?
Doctor: And what do these letters say?
Santa: It says, "Pull."
Santa and The Lottery Ticket
Banta finds himself in considerable trouble. His business has gone bust
and he has serious financial concerns. He's so desperate that he decides to
ask God for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray:
Lotto night arrives and somebody else wins it.
Banta goes back to the temple, 'God, please let me win the lotto, I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well.'
Lotto night comes and Banta still has no luck!! Back to the temple he
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and the Banta is confronted by the voice of the Lord, 'OYE BANTA, YOU HAVE TO BUY THE TICKET FIRST.'
Santa And the Clock
Santa is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower. Santa says agrees.
'Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder.' The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Santa figures he has been made a fool by that man.
On the next day Santa is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock. 'Give me a thousand rupees and I'll go get a ladder.'
Santa gives him the thousand and says, 'Oye, I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I'll go get a ladder.'
Santa Visits A Bar
Santa goes into a bar in New York.
The man on his right orders a drink, 'Johnnie Walker, single.'
The man on his left says, 'Jack Daniels, single.'
Santa says. 'Santa Singh, married.'
Santa Goes To School
Santa returns from his first day at school and immediately questions his
father, 'Dad, today we had a spelling class. All the other kids could only
say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am a
Santa seemed content with the answer, asks his father another question,
'Dad, today we had Maths class. All the other kids could only count from
1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am a Sardar ?'
Happy with the answer, Santa poses another question to his father, 'Dad,
today we had medical examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I
was at least twice their height. Is that because I am a Sardar ?'
Santa And the Wedding
Santa and Jeeto were preparing wedding cards for their son at the printers.
Jeeto was not very good at English so she asked the printer to help her. After the printer had presented her with a draft, she quickly pointed out that the "RSVP " was missing .
The printer was surprised by Jeeto's knowledge and asked her if she knew what it meant.
Jeeto started to think and after much thought he replied, 'Vait! I remember. I remember. RSVP. It means "Remember, Send Vedding Present." ' See more Santa Banta jokes
Reminder of the Origins of the Word Sardar
Sardar is a Persian word for a tribal leader or chieftain (Sar meaning leader, dar meaning possessor). This derivation is also spelt Sirdar and sometimes has -Ji appended, which confers respect when addressing the leader. In the nineteenth centaury the military connotation became well established, indeed the commander of the Anglo-Egyptian army had the title Sirdir.
In more modern times Sikh men would call themselves Sardar as Englishmen called themselves Mister, for example, Sardar Bhagat Singh.
There is also a small town called Sardar, but it's in Afghanistan and not in India or Pakistan.
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