Funny Safety Tips

Will and Guy's Funny Safety TipsFunny Safety Tips

Here is Will and Guy's collection of cartoons, posters, jokes and amusing articles featuring funny safety tips.

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Funny Safety TipsBlink And You Will Miss It!

Note the latest state-of-the-art, all cardboard, protective mask!

Health Tip

From page 21 of the Health & Safety Handbook for Employees:
'Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes'.

Amusing Health and Safety Tips

Interestingly, Will and Guy have been researching Health and Safety in relation to business and work places.  We are aware that intrinsically it is not a very interesting topic therefore it becomes essential, we think, to mix the serious message with humour. Amusing Safety Tips

The fact that in the UK over a *million workers get injured every year and 25,000 people are forced to give up work because of injury or illness caused by work shows that employers are very much taking risks with their workers' health. Most of these injuries could have been avoided if employers had implemented proper safety procedures, but research has shown that around half of employers have not even done a simple risk assessment which is, in fact, a legal requirement.

*TUC [Trades Union congress]figures 2009

We are aware that our site pages are towards the top of peoples' choices to view. Why not, therefore, use our findings, stories, pictures, posters and articles in your induction courses and indeed in your Health and Safety programmes. Research indicates that the following three ideas are proven to be successful in communicating to a workforce about Health and Safety.

We have found that people remember 50% more in what they see than in what they hear.

Visuals get people's attention. Advertising people know about this. The many images on billboards, magazines, newspapers or even on the internet are testimonies that visuals do attract people and advertising using visuals are so effective.Funny Car Safety

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Humour In Safety Posters Brings Good Feelings To a Workplace

This makes ideas more memorable and able to be understood.  This has a lot to do with the working of the mind.  Pleasant thoughts generate more receptive learning.  Have you ever tried studying for an exam when you have ugly thoughts disturbing your mind Humour effectively drives a point home.

Therefore it becomes easier to understand when done correctly. Accidents situations cannot be photographed. Only stuntmen are crazy enough to do things that can result in accidents.  Therefore, cartoons can be effectively used to illustrate dangerous situations which might be impossible to capture on film in real life.

Examples of Humour in Health and Safety

  1. When the employees of a High Rise Scaffold Company, Doncaster, England, attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire officer demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. Funny Fire Safety Warnings

    'Pull the pin like a hand grenade,' he roared. 'Then depress the trigger to release the extinguishing agent.'

    Later Simon Baxter, a rather nervous, young and new employee was selected to extinguish a 'controlled fire' in the live demonstration area.

    In his nervousness, he forgot to pull the pin.

    The instructor roared, 'Like a hand grenade? And again louder, 'Like a hand grenade, remember?'

    In a burst of confidence Simon pulled the pin ..................... and hurled the extinguisher into the blaze.
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A Funny Tale of Two Workmen

Two workmen, Harry and Reggie, were digging foundations when Harry started shouting and jumping about. Funny Safety at workplace

Reggie thought his partner had hit an underground power cable and was being electrocuted so following good health and safety practice used a shovel to separate him from the electricity.

In fact Harry wasn't getting an electric shock but was panicking after a wasp had flown up his trousers.  Luckily Harry didn't get stung but Reggie hit him so hard with the shovel that his shoulder was dislocated.

In fact Harry wasn't getting an electric shock but was panicking after a wasp had flown up his trousers.  Luckily Harry didn't get stung but Reggie hit him so hard with the shovel that his shoulder was dislocated.

Comical Workplace Safety TipsFunny health and safety pictures

Will and Guy's Selection of funny health and safety tips at the workplace.

  1. Safety is a major concern at the manufacturing company where I work.  So I'm constantly preaching caution to the workers I supervise.  'Does anyone know,' I asked a few guys, 'what the speed limit is in our parking lot?'

    The long silence that followed was interrupted when one of them piped up.  'That depends. Do you mean coming to work or leaving?'
  2. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in Boston, Massachusetts, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.
  3. Safety Managers: persons who write a 10,000 word document and call it a brief - Franz Kafka
  4. What do you get if you put 100 Safety Managers in your basement? - A whine cellar.Funny sign - Safety at the Workplace
  5. Dead Slow - Live Children
    Here is an interesting oxymoron.  Humorous safety signs really do work (see picture right).
  6. A police protection officer was visiting a primary school in a particularly rough area of Manchester, England.

    'Why shouldn't you touch the oven door or the kettle?' he asked the assembled class.

    A young girls hand shot into the air. 'Because you might leave fingerprints,' she answered.
  7. A crowd gathered around at a woodworking trade show held at Fort Purbrook, Portsmouth and were watching a sales demonstration.

    The demonstrator had an ordinary
    saw next to another which had a saw stopping safety device.  He showed how each might work when it hit an operator's finger.

    For simulation purposes he used a sausage as a substitute.  Intrigued, a curious spectator stepped up for a closer look and was struck in the eye by a flying piece of debris.
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The Building Trade: Health and Safety Tip

The Famous poetic song the 'Sick Note', is also known as Murphy and the Bricks.

It was written by Pat Cooksey who says that the original song dates back to the English Music Hall's of the 1920's and was printed in the Readers Digest in 1937 in the form of a story.

The song is unique in as much as it appears under a galaxy of titles but is always the same song. It has worldwide popularity with over 100 recordings to date.

Murphy And The Bricks

Dear Sir I write this note to you
To tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing it
I'm not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue
My face a deathly grey
And I write this note to tell you
Why I am not at work today

Whilst working on the fourteenth floor
Some bricks I had to clear
But to toss them down from such a height
Was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased
He is an awkward sod
And he said I had to cart them
Down the ladder in my hod

Well moving all these bricks by hand
It was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel
And secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job
I was to blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks
Was heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope
The barrel fell like lead
But clinging tightly to the rope
I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket
'til to my dismay I found
That half way up I met
The bloody barrel coming down

The barrel broke my shoulder
As to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top
I banged the pulley with my head
Still clinging tightly to the rope
From this almighty blow
Whilst the barrel spilled out half its bricks
Some fourteen floors below
Now when these bricks had fallen
From the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel
And so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope
My body racked with pain
And halfway down I met
The bloody barrel once again

The force of this collision
Halfway down the office block
Caused multiple abrasions
And a nasty case of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope
I fell towards the ground
And landed on the broken bricks
The barrel had scattered round

I lay there bleeding on the ground
I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel
And then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me
I didn't have a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground
I let go of the bloody rope

The barrel now being heavier
It started down once more
And landed right across me
As I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm
And I can only say
I hope you'll understand
Why I am not at work today !

Author: Pat Cooksey and first performed in the Dyer's Arms Pub, Coventry, England, in 1969.

The Safety Officer: An Hilarious and Funny Story

Once, an engineer, a physicist and a safety officer all applied for the same job.

The Managing Director interviewed all three, and thought all were excellent. He had to think of some way to find the best person. So he told them all to come back the next day and tell him the exact height of the building. The one who was closest would get the job.

The physicist went to the top of the building, and dropped iron balls to the ground, and had his friend timed the balls. He did this several times. Funny sign - Safety at the Workplace

The engineer got out a sextant, and computed ratios of a yardstick to the building.

The next day, the manager asks all three of them to tell how tall the building is.

'75 feet, 2.8 inches,' says the physicist.

'76 feet, 4.1 inches,' says the engineer.

'75 feet, 8.4 inches,' says the safety officer.

'My Goodness, said the MD, 'the safety officer got it exactly correct. How did you manage that?'

'Well', said the safety officer, 'I went down to the planning department and looked up the height in the building records.'

Lazy Workers - Unsafe Foot-holds

Safety - Leaning by feetSwimming Pool Safety

Safety Tip?

...(v3r)

Funny safety picture - changing a prop shaft

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