Many lolcat images with captions are written as if the cat were a baby or
a little child with minimal command of the English language.
Will and Guy have decided to suppliment our selected lolcat pictures with
interesting and fun prose/poetry.
Cats do not think that they are little people. They think that
we are big cats. This influences their behaviour in many ways.
Cats have been domesticated for only half as long as dogs.
Americans spend more money on cat food than they do on baby food.
The average cat food meal is the equivalent to about five mice.
The chlorine in fresh tap water irritates sensitive parts of the
cat's nose. Let tap water sit for 24 hours before giving it to a
A male cat is called a "tom" and a female cat is called a "queen."
In Ancient Egypt, killing a cat was a crime punishable by death.
The first cat show was in 1871 at the Crystal Palace in London.
Like birds, cats have a homing ability that uses its biological
clock, the angle of the sun, and the Earth's magnetic field. A cat taken
far from its home can return to it. However, if a cat's owners move too
far from its home, the cat can't find them.
Cats use their sense of smell as a means for identification.
A cat has four rows of whiskers on each side. A cat uses its
whiskers to determine if a space is large enough to squeeze through. The
whiskers act as feelers or antennae, helping the animal to judge the
precise width of any passage.
You can tell a cat's mood by looking into its eyes. A frightened or
excited cat will have large, round pupils. An angry cat will have narrow
pupils. The pupil size is related as much to the cat's emotions as to
the degree of light.
A cat can also express happiness by slightly closing its eyes or
Mother cats teach their kittens to use the litter box.
A person who loves cats is called an ailurophile; cat haters are
known as ailurophobes.
A Few More Funny Lolcat Pictures
The Naming of Cats
The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter, It isn't just one of your
holiday games; You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter When I
tell you, a cat must have three different names First of all, there's the
name that the family use daily, Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo or James,
Such as Victor or Jonathan, or George or Bill Bailey - All of them
sensible everyday names. There are fancier names if you think they sound
sweeter, Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames: Such as Plato,
Admetus, Electra, Demeter - But all of them sensible everyday names.
But I tell you, a cat needs a name that's particular, A name that's
peculiar, and more dignified, Else how can he keep up his tail
perpendicular, Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride? Of
names of this kind, I can give you a quorum, Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo,
or Coricopat, Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum - Names that
never belong to more than one cat. But above and beyond there's still one
name left over, And that is the name that you never will guess; The
name that no human research can discover - But the cat himself knows, and
will never confess. When you notice a cat in profound meditation, The
reason, I tell you, is always the same: His mind is engaged in a rapt
contemplation Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
His ineffable effable Effanineffable Deep and inscrutable singular
A cat as black As blackest coal Is out upon His midnight stroll,
His steps are soft, His walk is slow, His eyes are gold, They flash
and glow. And so I run And so I duck, I do not need His
black-cat luck. Anon
Pussy, Pussy *Baudrons
"Pussy, pussy baudrons Where have you been?" "I've been to London,
To see the Queen!" "Pussy, pussy baudrons, What got your there?"
"I got a good fat mousikie, Running up the stair."
*Scottish word originally from Glasgow meaning cats. A Scottish
There's music in a hammer, There's music in a nail, There's music
in a tom-cat When you tread upon his tail. Author Unknown
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