Funny House Names
Funny House Names
*The term Moonraker is used for Wiltshire people. It is thought to indicate that they are a bit challenged when it comes to the intelligence department. However all is not quite as it seems.
The term originated as a result of a raid by customs men on a Wiltshire village. They suspected the locals of illegal distilling. The raid took place at night and the local people had a tip-off that it was to take place. They disposed of the illegal stills, associated equipment and booze in the mill pond.
It was a still, moonlit night when the customs men raided the village, and the equipment and all could be seen at the bottom of the pond through the glassy surface. The locals fetched rakes and other farm implements and pretended to be stupid by trying to rake the reflection of the moon off the surface of the pond in order to disturb the surface so that the customs men could not see what was hidden at the bottom.
Thus the name Moonraker was born. Wiltshiremen are not as stupid as their reputation would have us believe!
Items that Missed the Top Ten Funny House Names
We suspect there are more, so if you see any amusing house names, please send them in!
Who Could be Living in These Houses?
Here are the amusing names of people living in such houses.
House Buyers' Terms Explained
Going to take advantage of the slow late summer housing market to buy a house? There are all kinds of terms that are used to describe real estate, so be prepared! Before you go out, check this list of House Buyers' Terms and what they really mean:
"Price recently reduced" (It used to be priced 'way, way too high.' It is now merely priced 'way too high.')
"Recently updated" (We hung up a new calendar in the kitchen.)
"Hardwood floors" (We had to pull up the carpets because the previous owner totally trashed them.)
"Floor-to-ceiling windows" (Ceiling is window height.)
"Den could be a third bedroom" (If you don't mind sleeping standing up, that is.)
"Breathtaking views" (That is meant literally, taking into account all the Dumpsters next door.)
"A gated community" (All the residents have bars on their windows.)
"Open floor plan" (We couldn't afford walls.)
"Convenient location near the interstate" (People driving by can see into your shower.)
"Unique windows" (They're not made of the usual glass, but rather plywood.)
"Great starter home" (It's a halfway house.)
"Recently landscaped" (The dog just dug a whole bunch of new holes in the back yard.)
"Fun, active area" (The house backs up to the exercise yard of the local jail.)
"Great investment home" (You can't actually live there yourself.)
"Custom paint" (The house was painted in 1970, back when that was the custom.)
"Huge sun room" (There's a big hole in the roof.)
"Wonderful agricultural area!" (Many of your neighbors use their basements to grow marijuana.)
"Peaceful neighborhood" (The truce between the gangs is still holding.)
"Lovely golf course location" (If you want to step out into the back yard, you'd better wear a helmet.)
"Seller motivated" (He's had it with all the wild neighborhood parties and drunk college students.)
"Beautiful wood molding" (The beautiful ceiling is molding, too.)
"Fountain in back yard" (The hose leaks.)
"Wonderful old tree" (It fell on the house.)
"New driveway!" (The only thing we can really tout about this house is a patch of concrete.)
"Minutes away from shopping, schools, and parks" (139 minutes, to be exact.)
"A home owner's dream come true!" (A nightmare is a dream.)
"Hurry, this won't last!" (The whole place is about ready to collapse.)
Will and Guy have a collection of amusing pub signs. Here is are our favourites.
* Will has sampled the beer in these pubs.
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