Funny Economic Jokes
Funny Economic Jokes
Here is Will and Guy's collection of jokes and funny pictures featuring the economy, bakers and the credit crunch.
'Hot Wheels' and 'Matchbox' stocks are trading higher than General Motors.
Funny Economic Jokes
It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel. The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna. The publican slips the money along to a salesman drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him goods on credit. The salesman then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.
The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.
No one produced anything.
And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the European bailout package works.
Will and Guy take an alternative and funny look at the world economic crisis. We are particularly interested in the new funny money, our question is how come so much money has been lost without a bank robbery?
Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock and collapse of the Bradford and Bingley in the UK it is clear that the uncertainty has now hit Japan and Ireland:
Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.
Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.
Will and Guy will not be eating this type of food for their Christmas lunch on the 25th December. We find it hard to believe that this product really does exist - but here it is.
We appreciate that many people will be cutting back this Christmas because of the economic climate but perhaps the Pot Noeldle is going a step too far. Its claim is that it's a special version of the student favourite and at £1.10 GBP [$1.77 USD] it will fit most budgets.
Manufacturer, Unilever said it is a "fusion of turkey and stuffing with all the trimmings".
Two pence from each sale will go to buy 'phone time for British troops stationed abroad. Troops taste-tested the new recipe of their favoured home comfort snack. Squadron Leader Stuart Balfour [Royal Air Force] told us, 'It will help keep them in touch with loved ones at a really important time of the year.' For this reason alone Will and Guy applaud the idea.
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.
The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
A lobbyist on his way home from Parliament after a Parliamentary Enquiry into Trading Practices by Britain's leading Bank Executives is stuck in traffic. Several of the former Bank Executives and CEO's have agreed to return their extravagant Pensions.
Noticing a police officer, he winds down his window and asks: "What's the hold up Officer?" The policeman replies: "The Chief Executive of the U.K.'s largest Bank has become so depressed he's stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire because of the shame of what he has done."
"Myself and all the other motorcade police officers are taking up a collection because we feel sorry for him."
The lobbyist asks: "How much have you got so far?"
The Officer replies: "About 40 gallons, but a lot of officers are still siphoning."
The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet.
Last week Guy talked to his bank manager. The manager, Mr Evans said 'Guy from now on, I am going to concentrate on the big issues*.
Today I saw Mr Evans outside Wal-Mart, and he sold me a copy!
One feature of recession is that we use humour as a safety valve, hence the appeal of 'funny money jokes' in times of crisis.
Hey, before we get started tonight, I want to remind any potential cabinet members you have until April 15th to not pay your taxes, okay?
Iceland goes bankrupt, then it manages to set itself on fire. This has insurance scam written all over it. See more Iceland Ash Jokes
We bring you the results of these mergers:
The only way to keep that money here at home is to buy beer and cigarettes, since these are the only products still produced in the USA.
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See more funny disaster jokes