Funny Economic Jokes

Funny Economic Jokes

Here is Will and Guy's collection of jokes and funny pictures featuring the economy, bakers and the credit crunch.

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How Bad Is the Economy?

'Hot Wheels' and 'Matchbox' stocks are trading higher than General Motors.

What's the capital of Iceland?

Funny Economic Jokes 

  • If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
  • A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
  • I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
  • Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

But: The Economy is Bouncing Back!

Amusing Economic Jokes

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The European Bailout Package

It is a slow day in a little Greek Village. The rain is beating down and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.

The owner gives him some keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel. The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna. The publican slips the money along to a salesman drinking at the bar, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer him goods on credit. The salesman then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.

The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note back on the counter so the rich traveller will not suspect anything. At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, picks up the €100 note, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.

No one produced anything.
No one earned anything.
However, the whole village is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is how the European bailout package works.

Economic Crisis - U. S. Treasury released the new US Dollar billBank Crash - Funny Money

Will and Guy take an alternative and funny look at the world economic crisis.  We are particularly interested in the new funny money, our question is how come so much money has been lost without a bank robbery?

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock and collapse of the Bradford and Bingley in the UK it is clear that the uncertainty has now hit Japan and Ireland:

Japan
In the last seven days Origami Bank has folded; Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

While Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

Ireland Funny Credit Crunch Jokes
The Allied Irish Bank has issued a credit warning about Kellogg's, they are worried about the Harvest Crunch.

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Christmas Dinner Pot Noodle Launched Amusing Christmas Stories

Will and Guy will not be eating this type of food for their Christmas lunch on the 25th December. We find it hard to believe that this product really does exist - but here it is.

We appreciate that many people will be cutting back this Christmas because of the economic climate but perhaps the Pot Noeldle is going a step too far. Its claim is that it's a special version of the student favourite and at £1.10 GBP [$1.77 USD] it will fit most budgets.

Manufacturer, Unilever said it is a "fusion of turkey and stuffing with all the trimmings".

Two pence from each sale will go to buy 'phone time for British troops stationed abroad. Troops taste-tested the new recipe of their favoured home comfort snack. Squadron Leader Stuart Balfour [Royal Air Force] told us, 'It will help keep them in touch with loved ones at a really important time of the year.'  For this reason alone Will and Guy applaud the idea.

Scandal

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.
Oh Great!!

The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

See more scandals

Police Take Up a Collection

A lobbyist on his way home from Parliament after a Parliamentary Enquiry into Trading Practices by Britain's leading Bank Executives is stuck in traffic. Several of the former Bank Executives and CEO's have agreed to return their extravagant Pensions.

Noticing a police officer, he winds down his window and asks: "What's the hold up Officer?" The policeman replies: "The Chief Executive of the U.K.'s largest Bank has become so depressed he's stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire because of the shame of what he has done."

"Myself and all the other motorcade police officers are taking up a collection because we feel sorry for him."

The lobbyist asks: "How much have you got so far?"

The Officer replies: "About 40 gallons, but a lot of officers are still siphoning."

 

Footnote:
Funny Credit Crunch Jokes kindly sent in by Neville Cresdee

Cars in the Credit Crunch

The credit crunch has helped me get back on my feet. 
My car's been repossessed.

Credit Crunch GasHurry Up

More Funny Credit Crunch JokesThe Big Issue - Credit Crunch Joke

Last week Guy talked to his bank manager.  The manager, Mr Evans said 'Guy from now on, I am going to concentrate on the big issues*.

Today I saw Mr Evans outside Wal-Mart, and he sold me a copy!

Footnote*
The Big Issue is a UK magazine sold by the homeless.

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Beware of Funny Money in the Credit Crisis

One feature of recession is that we use humour as a safety valve, hence the appeal of  'funny money jokes' in times of crisis.

2008 Bank Crisis - funny fake bank note

Hey, before we get started tonight, I want to remind any potential cabinet members you have until April 15th to not pay your taxes, okay?

What's the Capital of Iceland?

What's the capital of Iceland?

No it's not Reykjavik, see here for the answer

Iceland goes bankrupt, then it manages to set itself on fire. This has insurance scam written all over it.   See more Iceland Ash Jokes

Because of the ongoing market turmoil several companies are merging in order to surviveDownjones

We bring you the results of these mergers:

  • Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace
  • 3M and Goodyear will merge and become: MMMGood
  • FedEx is expected to join its competitor UPS to become: FedUP
  • Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers

Clean Yet Funny Economic Jokes Credit Crunch - Funny Pictures

  1. The United States have developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market. - Jay Leno
  2. The economy is in big trouble. Yesterday in a big speech, President Bush said the economy was still getting over the hangover from the 90's. And then, the President admitted, he was still getting over his hangover from the 80's. Conan O'Brien
  3. 'Money talks. Trouble is, mine only knows one word - Goodbye,' says Guy.
  4. The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate.
  • If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China
  • If we spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs
  • If we purchase a computer it will go to India
  • If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala
  • If we purchase a good car it will go to Japan
  • If we purchase something useless it will go to Taiwan........whoops, sorry...............................
    and none of it will help the American economy.

The only way to keep that money here at home is to buy beer and cigarettes, since these are the only products still produced in the USA.

Footnote
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