Doctor Cartoon Collection

Will and Guy's Selection of Funny Doctor Cartoons

A famous surgeon went on a safari in Africa. When he came back, his colleagues asked him how it had been. 'Oh, it was very disappointing,' he said.  'I didn't kill a thing. I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital.'

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Doctor's DiagnosisDoctor Cartoons

Who To Trust?  Doctor or Google?

If you trust Google more than your doctor than maybe it's time to switch doctors.
Jadelr and Cristina Cordova

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Doctors funny problem 

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Funny Doctor QuotesFunny Doctor Quotes

  • The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.
  • A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek.  He gave her a lobotomy.  Joan Rivers
  • The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the paediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
  • The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
  • My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August.  Ronnie Shakes
  • After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, 'Maybe life isn't for everyone'. - Larry Brown.
  • See more funny medical quotes.

More Funny Doctor's CartoonsFunny Doctor Quotes

Quick Diagnosis

Nurse: 'Doctor, Doctor the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step.  What should I do?'

Doctor: 'Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!'

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Beware of Your Doctor Uttering These Phrases During SurgeryFunny Doctor Quotes

  1. Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
  2. Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.
  3. Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?
  4. Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
  5. ...and could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off
  6. Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
  7. Orthodox medicine has not found an answer to your complaint.  However, luckily for you, I happen to be a quack.
  8. FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!  See more doctor jokes

Doctor CartoonMore Doctor Humour - Keep Taking The Pills?

One morning, Arnie went to see his doctor and told him that he hadn't been feeling at all well. The doctor examined Arnie, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills.

Looking at Arnie he says, 'Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you wake up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after you eat lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water.'

Startled to be put on so much medicine, the man stammered, 'L...........L.......L.........Lummee, Doc, exactly what is my problem?'

The doctor replied, 'Arnie, you're not drinking enough water.'

Doctors and Quacks
In Britain today, there are about 50,000 practitioners of alternative medicine, but only about 30,000 qualified doctors.

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