British Royal Wedding Jokes
On 29th April 2011 Prince William and Kate Middleton will marry at Westminster Abbey. Note this is a Friday.
British Royal Wedding Jokes
The mug that has spawned a myriad of conspiracy theories. Firstly the facts, this souvenir mug has been produced in China to mark the first anniversary of the marriage of the Duchess of Cambridge and Prince William. However the picture on the front matches Kate with Prince Harry and not Prince William.
Harry, when he was a very young lad aged 4, says to his father, 'Daddy, Daddy, I want to get married.'
His father explains, 'For that Harry, you have to have a boy and a girl.'
'Who?' splutters his Dad.
'Now, let me get this straight,' his father says.
'I don't see why not?' Harry responds, 'You married mine!'
Liz and Phil have been married for almost 64 years and have raised a brood of 4 children and are blessed with 8 grandchildren.
When asked the secret for staying together all that time, Liz replies, 'Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids.'
Kate, young single lady visits the local dating agency and explains, 'I'm looking for a husband. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?'
The dating receptionist needs to find out some details so she asks, ' What are your requirements, please?'
'Well, let me see.' Kate says, 'He needs to be fine looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hours, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.'
The receptionist listens politely and carefully and responds, 'I understand. You need a television.'
Rehearse The Church Service
At a royal wedding ceremony at which the Arch Bishop was officiating, he was seen to raise his hand in order to give the final blessing at the end of the service.
Anne, the bride, totally misunderstood this gesture and surprised the vicar with a high-five.
Not wanting to exclude Mark, the groom, the Arch Bishop also offered him a high-five.
The Arch Bishop was eventually able to give the blessing, this time with the laughter of the guests ringing in his ears.
The Minister noticed the bride was in distress so asked what was wrong. She replied that she was awfully nervous and afraid she would not remember what to do. The Minister told her that she only needed to remember 3 things.
While the bride was walking in step with the wedding march, family and friends of the groom were horrified to hear her repeating these 3 words...
... Aisle, alter hymn (I'll alter him)
How even a nervous, first-time
Mr Men author, Adam Hargreaves, has created a new character called Little Miss Princess in time for the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.
Two titles about the "kind-hearted" princess who "lives in a castle with turrets and a moat" have been written, Egmont publishers have announced. One of the books follows her attempts to get to a wedding on time. 'Little Miss Princess and the Very Special Wedding' will be published in April.
The first title, 'Little Miss Princess', will be published on 7th March.
Princess is the first new Little Miss character since 2003 when Little Miss Whoops was published. Mr Hargreaves said he 'thoroughly enjoyed' writing the stories.
The official one will be a traditional multi-tiered fruit cake made by Leicestershire baker Fiona Cairns. Kate Middleton has asked for it to be decorated with edible flowers - an English rose, a Scottish thistle, a Welsh daffodil and an Irish shamrock.
There will also be a family childhood favourite of the prince's. McVitie's will make the prince's confection with dark chocolate and crushed Rich Tea biscuits, according to a secret Royal Family recipe.
A portrait by food artist Prudence Staite, commissioned by Crown Carveries, of Prince William and Kate Middleton made from typical foods found on a carvery.
The picture took about four hours to make using typical ingredients found at a Crown Carvery including turkey, gammon, beef, carrots, peas, broccoli, cauliflower, potatoes, Yorkshire puddings and gravy.
William and Kate
A Mexican teenager is staging a hunger strike outside the British Embassy in Mexico City in a bizarre attempt to secure an invitation to the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton report Will and Guy.
Miss Estibalis Chavez, 19, said she had not eaten for the past eight days and was living on just water as she camps in a blue tent near the gates to the embassy. 'Are they going to let me die just because they wouldn't give me an invitation to the royal wedding?' Miss Chavez wrote on one of the flyers she has plastered near the entrance to the colonial-style building. 'This is my only dream,' read another flyer next to a picture of the smiling royal couple who will marry at Westminster Abbey on 29th April 2011.
'The embassy could talk to Britain for me but they haven't,' she said. 'But I'm going to stay here until I can't go on.'
We say, 'Watch this space.'
Remember Your Royal Wedding Present!
In the Olden Days
In the past, it was usual that royal brides brought their own dowry to the wedding. Two good examples of this are as follows:
More Recent Amusing Wedding Presents
Prince William has every reason to like the commemorative medal struck to celebrate his wedding to Kate Middleton; not least because the Birmingham Mint has endowed his gilded image with a rather thicker head of hair than in real life.
Golden Heir: William has more hair on the commemorative medal than in real life. The medallion weighs approximately 26g and is minted in a gold-coloured base metal. It is 38.61mm in diameter and will be sold in a protective display card Will and Guy have learned.
The British Royal Wedding of Prince William with Kate Middleton at Westminster Abbey will be on 29th April 2011.
Prince William, now 60, goes to the Bishop to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for many years.
The Bishop says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
William says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
In France women who reach the age of 25 and are not married are called Catherinettes. Their motto is: 'Lord, give me a husband who's bearable, or who can at least pass as bearable in the world!' Whereas French girls under 25 would pray: 'Lord, give me a well-situated husband. Let him be gentle, rich, generous, and pleasant!'
Catherinettes form support groups, and they can be recognised by their hats, which are yellow (for faith) and green (for wisdom), topped off by some eye-catching feature. Tradition has it that Catherinettes should wear the hat for the entire day without taking it off even indoors. Milliners in France, and elsewhere, have not been slow to produce ranges of hats to celebrate St Catherine's Day.
St Andrews University Has Created a Scholarship in the Couple's Honour
Prince William and fiancée Kate Middleton have visited the university where they met, and said it felt 'like coming home'.
The couple, whose romance blossomed when they studied in the Fife town, returned for the university's 600th anniversary celebrations.
Hundreds of people were at the university to see their first official engagement in Scotland.
Addressing students, university staff, and alumni, Prince William said, 'This is a very special moment for Catherine and me. It feels like coming home. Despite being one of Europe's leading research institutions, the third oldest university in the English-speaking world and of course, far and away the best university in the world, St Andrews has that uncanny knack of feeling like home.'
Prince William and Kate Middleton each graduated from the university in 2005.
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